Katie Taylor

 June 2008 was beautiful.   Sunny, warm with promises of a beautiful summer to come.  Unless of course you are suffering from Malignant Melanoma.  The sun brings with it doubts as to how careful we were when the children were younger, thinking they were safe playing in the fields with the dogs and horses - did we use enough sun cream? Did we cover them up enough?  Much is written about melanoma but less is known.  There is so much to find out, so much research to be done.  With this end in mind our dear friend Susan suggested a fund raiser. She suggested it to Kate, who jumped at the idea; so Susan (practically single handed) organised a sponsored 5 mile walk.   It was to be done on the 21st June, Melanoma Awareness Week.  The longest day may end up being the longest night, depending on how fast we walk!  So many people have jumped in with offers of help and sponsorship we feel totally overwhelmed.  Katie wants dearly to be there and have her dad and brother pushing her, however she is now very poorly so it remains to be seen.

Over the weekend 7/8th June Katie was very poorly; she was unable to keep any fluids in let alone any food.  Monday saw our Dr coming out and more tablets.  At present she is sleeping most of the time, when she wakes she's confused, not upset or in any anxiety; in her mind she's with her mates, laughing at school, or going down the fields with Chris, and quite happy.  Occasionally we see a glimpse of our beloved Kate, when Judith  popped in and stayed with her for an hour Tuesday 10th, we were not sure if she knew Judith had been, but later in the evening she was adamant Judith was  still there and had just nipped out with Jed (Judiths GSP whom Katie adores).

The following week upto today 14th June, Katie has deteriorated. In her mind she is going to school, or riding whisper, having  a girly night in or going to Derby with her friends. At this point in time nothing can hurt or harm our precious daughter. We sit and talk to her, wondering if she can hear us, telling her how much we loved her and how brave and beautiful she is. We look back over what she has done, the path she has trodden and she is whats important.... so willing to please, so able to be adored.

Please pop onto the guest book - and leave a message saying hello to her.  Katies greatest fear is that of being forgotten, our beautiful, vibrant, bubbly, beloved and loving daughter - how could any of us who love you ever forget you for a moment?

 Katie passed away surrounded by her family at 3.45am on the 17th June.

On the night of the 21st June, we carried out Katies wishes and did the sponsored midnight walk.  The rain held off for the evening though it was damp and windy.  Just about all the registered walkers turned up which was a great relief.  Katie was certainly there in spirit as the feeling and buzz in the meeting hall was electric, everyone sharing memories of the times they had spent with her.  Obviously it was tinged with a deep sadness and many tears were quietly shed too. 

The participants marched off into the night, determined come Hell or High water they were walking for Katie, while a few of us stayed behind to count up the donations made on the night and the cumulative total of the sponsor forms, bearing in mind not all the sponsor forms had been bought in - so the figure would actually be higher.

Two hours later we were waiting in the hall, the sausages  were cooked and the kettles boiling merrily away when we heard the strains of a song - bearing in mind it was now 2am!  Gradually the song got louder as the walkers neared their destination;  and we had more tears in the hall when we heard the chant of "If your happy and you know it, and you really want to show it, if your happy and you know it shout  K.T!"

Teas, coffees and juices were in demand as were donated cakes and hot sausage cobs as a friend took to the stage for the final announcement, to thank the walkers and say the first total amount of monies raised has made £8300.

A cheer went up to loud applause and the evening was a resounding success.

Many people have expressed a desire to make this walk in Katies memory a yearly event for Melanoma week, and I honestly think if the momentum can be kept going it is well worth the effort to find an eventual cure for the insidious, evil disease which quietly stole our beautiful daughter before our eyes.

Katies funeral is to be held on thursday the 26th June at 12pm, St. Thomas Church; Somercotes. Derbyshire.

You never said "I'm leaving;"
You never said goodbye.
You were gone before we knew it,
And only God knew why.
A million times we  needed you;
A million times we cried.
If love alone could have saved you,
You never would have died.
In life we loved you dearly;
In death we love you still;
In our heart you hold a place,
That no one else can fill.
It broke our hearts to lose you,
But you didn't go alone,
For part of us went with you,
The day God took you home. 

W.A.C.K.

 Thursday 26th June

Many people have expressed sadness at not being able to attend Katies funeral to pay their last respects; so I decided to write this page, unusual as it may seem -  but usual or un-usual this isnt about others, its about Katie and her family and closest friends. No one matters at this point in time.  

Although we never expressly told Katie her condition was terminal, we had spoken together as a family about "what if...." any of us died and what we wanted.  Hence knowing that Katie wanted to be buried, not cremated like her grandparents.  She had expressed a desire to be buried in the back field with the horses so we asked our local council if we could have a grave as close to the back field as possible, which they duly obliged us with.  We knew she wanted a horse drawn hearse - this was very important to her so when we were offered the choice of black or grey horses, it was obvious the greys would win hands down.  What many people were not aware of was that one of Katies idols was actually Karen Basset, the champion carriage driver; who also ran her own business of horse drawn hearses.  Karen very kindly offered to drive the hearse for Katie herself -  we can never thank her enough for her kindness  and time - it was perfect.

We opted for a service at our local church. I had been baptised and confirmed there, then married and both children had also been baptised and attended sunday school when young.  We didn't feel a traditional service would be "right" for Kate, so after a long informal chat with our vicar; we agreed on a form of service more suitable to Katie herself.

Her coffin was bio-degradable wicker, surrounded by inter-twined red roses (Katies favorites) and greenery hand done as a special favour to Katie by Marie at Storers the undertakers.  We had been to say our final goodbye's to Katie privately the evening before and had asked everyone to meet us at the church as I personally couldnt cope with many people around me at that point.  I needed space, peace and solitude. Only Judith and her daughter Amie were asked to come to the house, not just because Judith was walking Faith to the service.  Some people were a little surprized by seeing a Great Dane lying peacefully behind the casket in church but  she was Katies companion when others were thin on the ground. She had lay and listened to her mistress in good times and bad, in complete confidence, she never gossiped or had to look away; in short Katie loved and trusted her as much as Wayne, Chris & I.  We had asked for dispensation for having a dog in Church  and had received it with welcome arms - some disapproved but many more understood the reasons for it.  Seeing the 2 beautiful horses and the gleaming hearse with Katies casket in it surrounded by roses was heartbreakingly stunning.  Neighbours looked  through tear stained faces and set off walking to church.  Katie would have laughed, this would not be the first time had she stopped traffic with a big horse in the middle of Somercotes.

Katie entered the Church to Eric Claptons "Tears in Heaven",  Christopher has asked if he could read something for his sister so together we had decided on the poem by Philip Harkess "She is Gone".  He read unfalteringly to the silence of the crowded church, you could have heard a pin drop.

You can shed tears that she is gone
or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she’ll come back
or you can open your eyes and see all she’s left.

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her
or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her and only that she’s gone
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back
or you can do what she’d want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

  We sat through her favorite music of Greenday playing "Time of your life" and the tears fell fast and unchecked.

 Another turning point;
a fork stuck in the road.

Time grabs you by the wrist;
directs you where to go.

So make the best of this test
and don't ask why.

It's not a question
but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs
and still frames in your mind.

Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time.

Tattoos of memories
and dead skin on trial.

For what it's worth,
it was worth all the while.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

Susan read out my personal favorite for my beautiful, perfect daughter - Shakespeares 18th Sonnet "Shall I compare thee to a summers day..."  Katie was truly more lovely and more temperate; and summers lease had certainly had too short a date.   

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And Summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And oft' is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd:
But thy eternal Summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wanderest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:

So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

 This was followed by a touching piece of music called "Forever Young", 

Lets dance in style, lets dance for a while
Heaven can wait we're only watching the skies
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst
Are you going to drop the bomb or not?

Let us die young or let us live forever
We dont have the power but we never say never
Sitting in a sandpit, life is a short trip
The musics for the sad men

Can you imagine when this race is won
Turn our golden faces into the sun
Praising our leaders we're getting in tune
The musics played by the madmen

Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever and ever

Some are like water, some are like the heat
Some are a melody and some are the beat
Sooner or later they all will be gone
Why dont they stay young?

Its so hard to get old without a cause
I dont want to perish like a fading horse
Youth is like diamonds in the sun
And diamonds are forever

So many adventures couldn't happen today
So many songs we forgot to play
So many dreams are swinging out of the blue
We'll let them come true.....

then another reading by Angie "All is well, Death is nothing at all...."

Death is nothing at all, I have only slipped away into the next room

I am I and you are you,Whatever we were to each other That we are still

Call me by my old familiar name, Speak to me in the easy way you always used

Put no difference into your tone,Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow

Laugh as we always laughed At the little jokes we always enjoyed together

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was

Let it be spoken without effort, Without the ghost of a shadow in it

Life means all that it ever meant, It is the same as it ever was

There is absolute unbroken continuity,

Why should I be out of mind  Because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you for an interval, Somewhere very near

Just around the corner

All is well.

and finally,  Judith.  Over the years Katie had trained various dogs with Judith, both good and bad- she had a brilliant rapport with her.  She admired Judith and looked forward to her training sessions immensley, they had laughed and relaxed together, Judith understood Katie deeply and knew how deep the bond went between her and Faith (and previously Tom her troubled but beautiful weimaraner). Judith was asked to read "Life Goes on..."

 If I should go before the rest of you
Break not a flower
Nor inscribe a stone
Nor when I am gone
Speak in a Sunday voice
But be the usual selves
That I have known

Weep if you must
Parting is hell
But life goes on
So .... sing as well

It was perfect, for my part I knew how hard it was for all the readers, but this one in particular was special to Katie and me. Parting was hell but life has to go on. Kate would have had it no other way.

The cortage moved off from St Thomas'church followed by the mourners on foot through the village in the rain to the graveyard which happens to be opposite our house.  The children had played in our fields behind there since they were young, Katies horses grazed quietly there. When they were young the children had wandered around the cemetary telling each other stories of the people buried there, making up tales to go with the names on the old headstones. They had  sat with friends  on the green grass under blue  skies for numerous summers exchanging secrets, making daisy chains, laughing and chatting happily together.                                              She had loved it in life,  and now she would rest there eternally.  Mourners had bought single red roses to lay on her casket. It was smothered within minutes, not a grain of dirt could touch her. 

 Our beautiful daughter would rest here for eternity.