My Mum used to say that as one door closed another would open, we just have to find it.
Katies death certainly closed the door to an episode in our lives which had brought so many varied emotions to the surface for many people; ranging from self-questioning, to there-but-for-the-grace-of-God, from sadness and grief to thoughts of happier moments. Learning to put aside 8 months of roller-coaster riding to trying to remember the wonderful 15 years prior. Its very difficult. It raises so many questions and insecurities in all of us, making us question and re-evaluate our own lives, not just for close family and friends but people I wasn't even aware Katie had reached out and touched. Even to the point of Katie's death in the middle of Melanoma Awareness week - just another coincidence. As a mother who's just lost her daughter, everything was taken to heart, dissected and re-evaluated, I looked for reasons where reasons dont exist - It's part of human nature that we want a reason for everything - to make sense of things, to put things in order. There is no other reason for Katies death but that she was bl**dy unlucky. We were no longer the same people, we had been through Heaven to Hell and now we had to go back to a life we had pushed aside for 8 months - thank God for very good friends.
Life around us carried on at the same frantic pace, we were there physically but certainly not mentally for a short time; friends made sure we had food in, somehow the shopping got done, meals were eaten (friends made sure of that too!) and washing got done. Life had to carry on. Again our dearest and closest friends made life bearable - now there was just the 3 of us.
It soon became apparent that new beginnings were taking place. People still wanted to help, to do "something" to keep the memory of Katie alive - to give something to say thankyou, to feel of use. Others wanted or needed to talk - about how sorry they were, of their own experiences of cancer and melanoma in particular. Life was evolving, the old life had gone and a new unwanted and unknown one was beckoning.
A group of 6th formers at Anthony Gell decided they needed to raise their own funds for Katie, an organised rock concert with half a dozen bands playing. The Bandfest was to be called " KATIE ROCKS!" and was to take place on 10th July. Little did they know the significance of this date (4 years since Katies beloved gran had died) so with a headache and slight feelings of apprehension Wayne & I set off for a local pub carpark in Wirksworth. Chris had been there from lunch time helping to set up. The sight of a magnificent wooden stage met us - we were impressed. Tickets were sold at £3 each and the youngsters started rolling in, along with the parents of 2 of Katies mates - we were the only adults there. The teenagers kept on coming, buying burgers and hotdogs at £1 each, listening to the music, cheering on the bands, enjoying themselves. We admired those kids more than anything we've ever seen - they were polite, well mannnered, "normal" kids in jeans and tee shirts, enjoying their night out - saying shy helloes to Chris'n'Kates mum & dad, and giving resounding whistles and cheers to Wayne as he thanked them for all their efforts. Astounding, fantastic, superb and Bl**dy Brilliant were words we used between ourselves time and time again that night. Finally the tally came in - the night had raised yet another gobsmacking amount - £538 for the Myfanwy Townsend Melanoma Research Fund - Wow we thought - just wait till we tell Harry.
Judith who runs the dog training club and had sponsored Faith from the very beginning -[ I know she'll be giving me a "LOOK" when she reads this, but Judith was Katies idol, from the moment Katie took her first dog training, she loved Judith like an aunt. Judith put up with all our family training various dogs with various problems in good humour, from Willow the wuss to Tom the Tyrant - she coped with them all; it was such a fitting tribute to Kate to ask Judith to lead Faith for Katies funeral. We could never repay her kindness in this and many other things she has done - including impromptu parties!] The Awards Day where the dogs take their Kennel Clun Good Dog Awards donated their takings for the day which raised a brilliant £85
Yet another heart-in-mouth moment occured when the landlady of the pub where the concert happened told us - "Dont forget next Tuesday!" as we were leaving.... not only had the kids done the concert - they and their parents had organised a sponsored bungee jump - photos to follow!
People we had never met offered their support when the idea of a nationwide support group for melanoma patients and their families began to take shape - more of this to follow when the time is right.
Our close friends Susan, Pauline and Katies friend Carys are organising a "Wine & Wisdom" night on the 20th September to raise funds for a memorial bench in Katies name from all her friends, tickets are £5 each, available from Susan & Pailine - email me for details of how to get them, and teams of upto 6 people will compete against each other for prizes, included is food and a very good laugh is guarenteed!
