August has come around quickly. Unprepared for Summer holidays, they are here anyway, already most of the year has gone. Finally on the 7th, after phone calls, demands and complaints the hoist which took social services so long to erect has been removed, 7 weeks after Katies death; how much simpler would it have been for fate to take the hoist and leave us Katie for those extra weeks...
Val, once just the ClikSargent worker, now a valued friend gave me a book the other day. Poems written by bereaved parents, one I slightly adapted and placed on Katies "Gone too soon" site, I was thinking if having it printed and carrying it around with me to ward off the well meaning but non-understanding aquaintences who feel maybe all should be over and done with now:
Hello, Im back, but I'm merely a shell,
Since last I saw you Ive been through Hell.
Now I am here, please give me some space,
Dont talk behind my back but straight to my face.
Look into my eyes and see my pain;
and remember one day you could feel the same.
Please be patient, I need plenty of time
You see Im still hurting and not at my prime.
My hands will shake and the tears will fall
I really dont want to be here at all.
My heart is broken, Im cold right through,
But please dont leave me, I need you to talk to.
Dont be embarassed, dont shy away,
it'll be easier when I get through each day.
Im terribly angry, I just want to scream,
I only wish it were all a bad dream.
I really cant cope, I'll never get through;
Please be kind and show me just what to do.
Dont tell me 'life goes on...' cause mines at an end,
just give me a hug and stay near me, my friend.
Dont box me in corners, or give me more stress,
and yes, you are right, I didnt iron my dress.
I dont care how I look, its enough I'm still here
I know my hair needs doing - thats quite clear.
I see no future so dont ask me to plan;
its hard knowing your girl wont grow to a woman.
I know you're sincere, and your kindness not hollow,
And I promise, I'll try to stay till tomorrow.
A deposit was placed on a headstone for Katie. It should take about 8 weeks to complete the order. A prototype one to see how the customers liked it, it is different - like Katie. Obviously black (DOH!) with a heart cut out of the top holding a white marble dove, we feel she would like it.
The presentation evening on the 9th was a great success, almost as much as the Midnight walk itself. The final total presented was £8075. Harry Townsend came to collect it in person along with his lovely partner Marian. After a day of ...some would say .... slight nerves (others would say complete mental melt-down! Susan & Amie) we finally had the food prepared, burgers, sausages, chicken, baked potatoes, pasta, salmon & tuna kebabs, salad, fruit kebabs plus much more - and even more drinks. It had taken a good couple of hours to prep the food and a (reasonably) good (well - laughable!) couple of hours to erect the 3mtr x 9mtr gazebo. According to the instruction 3 people could have put it up, don't know where they were - cos it took us 4 people, an oap, and a 6ft 4" giant! Brilliant night though.
Father and daughter team, Sally and Ian Newham start their Lands End to John O Groats bike ride on the 16th, to raise funds for Myfanwys charity, a most deserving research cause, in memory of Katie - their just giving page :
http://www.justgiving.com/dadanddaughterchallenge
Please support them, melanoma shows no mercy and isn't picky about who it attacks, when or how.
Today is the 30th August, Christophers birthday. Its a difficult day to get through. Katie should be here sharing it with us, and isnt. Thanks to friends being so supportive we have managed to get through the last 2 months - lets hope we manage the future.
The BBQ and camp out went well for Chris's birthday, its now the last day of August and time to think of the new starts in September. Its hard, very hard to listen to Katie's friends making plans for the following year, exams, boyfriends, prom-dresses - time marches on, and certainly waits for no-one.
Sally & Ian Newham finished their bike ride, just their "justgiving" Page alone has raised a fantastic £750!!! Well done to them both - what a superb achievement.
